The Best Charlie Sheen Drama Quotes and Rants + Sheen T-Shirts

Debauchery, cocaine, and a filthy mouth. And so goes the life of Two and a Half Men star/self proclaimed rock star, Charlie Sheen. Sheen, whose show was recently put on hold and then indefinitely dropped from production, has been going on a tirade the past few days. It’s been quite interesting, actually, to peek into the sordid life that he live. Here of some of my favoriet Sheen quotes/videos/rants from the last couple of days:

From his Today Show interview:

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Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

On his chest tattoo:

“It’s the banner from the death card that Kilgore [the Robert Duvall character] is throwing on his victims. But also falling from it is the apple from [poet Shel Silverstein's] ‘The Giving Tree.’ There’s my life. Deal with it. I’m not just my dad. I’m putting up the river to kill another part of me, which is Kurtz. I’m every character in between, save for that little weirdo with his guts strapped in, begging for water. That’s not me. But there are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper. ‘You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me.’ Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”

On his publicist quiting on him:

“Pussy. He’s not allowed to quit, so you’re fired.”

On his dad telling him to seek help:

“My conduct is bitchin’, my condition is perfect.”

On being banned from the Warner Bros. lot:

“Wow, that’s kind of strange given [Warner Bros. Television President] Peter Roth always said it was my show that kept the lights on. Doesn’t matter too much because after Wednesday they’ll have to rename Warner Bros. as Charlie’s Bros. I will fire those clowns and bring in my own team.”

On being on a drug called Charlie Sheen:

On Two and a Half Men creator, Chuck Lorre:

“Defeat is not an option. They know what they did was wrong they are in absolute breach [of contract] I did nothing wrong. I expressed an opinion, I have the first amendment and I have an army marching behind me, to quote Eminem. I put a billion dollars in the studio’s pockets and I put half a billion dollars in Chuck’s pocket. I should of been walking in to massages and hand jobs. Yeah, I said it! [The show's producers] kept getting up into my grill, kept tell me how to live my personal life.. I’m saying ‘back off back off’ and they wouldn’t. I’m the type of guy who doesn’t hassle anybody…I think everybody’s got a black belt and a gun..so..I don’t get in anybody’s business. I kept asking for that respect and I couldn’t get it, I couldn’t get it. These guys are a couple of AA Nazis and just blatant hypocrites. They just do not practice what they preach it’s so transparent and so sad.”

On being a racist:

“I was referring to Chuck by his real name, because I wanted to address the man, not the bulls**t TV persona…So you’re telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino.”

On being clean:

“If they do discover my blood to be tiger blood, I hope that nobody will be shocked!”

A letter from Charlie Sheen:

“What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.

Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…”

On Two and a Half Men being shut down:

“Newsflash, I’m special.”

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. My success rate is 100%. I was shackled and oppressed by the cult of AA for 22 years. I finally extracted myself from their troll hole and started living my life the way I want to live it. It’s vintage, outdated and stupid and it’s followed by STUPID people. I hate them violently. They will come at me. Debate me on AA right now. I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it right now with my mind.”

“I was told if I went on the attack they’d cancel the show. Are they happy with the 5 billion dollars they made off me or do they want 10? I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. There’s a new sheriff, and he has an army of assassins.”

“My motto now is either you love or you hate and you must do so violently. I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get embarrassed. If you love with violence and you hate with violence there is nothing that can be questioned.”

“I’m going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view. I don’t subscribe to any model.”

And of course, it would be remiss if I failed to mention a Charlie Sheen T-Shirt, so check out these fresh new pop-ish themed Sheen tees from La Boutique Genevan. Both shirts are available now for €22.

And then you’ve got these from Donkey T’s, a little more appropriate for the times, hah! Both shirts are available now for $16.

Emptees Officially Closes

That day has finally come. The beloved T-Shirt showcase and forum, Emptees, has shut its doors. At its peak, Emptees was a great place to interact with and learn a lot from people with the same passion for T-Shirts. No matter what you thought of the site and its members (even the Indonesian ones…sorry for the inside joke), you can’t say that it wasn’t an awesome resource. Emptees will be missed.

As for alternative, you should check out Mintees (run by former Emptees moderator, Rob Dobi, who is also the founder of Fullbleed) and Band Job (created by the guys behind The Black Axe).

What is your best emptees memory, what did you love about the site?

Thirsty For Blood, Hungry For Tacos (The Remix)

There has been some magical things that have been happening over at Seibei over the last couple of weeks, namely super limited edition T-Shirt that are available at a presale price for only a week (sometimes, the shirts move into the Seibei catalog after the presale, other times they will be retired forever). This week, Seibei brings back a classic in two new colorways. Thirsty For Blood, Hungry For Tacos has always been one of my favorite Seibei tees, and it is often the one that garners the most eyeballs (followed mostly by a quick smirk and smile). You know when people are reading your T-Shirt, and whenever I wear this tee, I notice a lot of people reading my chest.

The most popular colorway will move permanently move into the main Seibei catalog, while the other colorway will be retired. So if you like them both, you better be sure to get them both! The presale price is set at $18.

Scary Anime Lady Scribble T-Shirt

You can file this under the category labeled bizarre. Yu Kobayashi is a Japanese actress that is best known for her voice, which has appeared in video games such as Ar tonelico III, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, Pokémon Mystery Dungeon and the feature film adaptation of Animal Crossing. What’s bizarre is that she decided to create some scribbles that look like they came from someone who was high on acid. And the worst part is that this isn’t a joke product, Kobayashi is actually selling her design in tote and T-Shirt form. If you’re crazy enough to be even remotely interested in this, then you deserve to spend the $63 that it will cost you to own these two products.

Would you buy this T-Shirt/Tote combination pack? Would you wear this T-Shirt?

Priorities

While most guys lust for the newest, shiniest and fastest toy … their significant other is often stuck worrying about the “important” stuff. Adulthood means setting your priorities straight and that means that sometimes you need to pass on that shiny new toy. But my goodness … shiny new toys are always soooooo awesome. They always have this magical, unicorn-like glow that just pulls you in and cripples you. I call it the “Apple Effect” and I fall for it every time. I see it, I lust for it and I want it. I don’t always get it, but that won’t stop me from wishing!

Priorities is available now from Glennz Tees for $19.95.

Emptees Closing + The Best of the Worst

I’ve been meaning to post about the imminent closing of the beloved (and sometime hated) T-Shirt showcase and forum website, Emptees. They were beloved by myself and many others because of the top notch quality of designers and T-Shirt designs. Small independent designers were regulars and big time names like Jake Nickell (Threadless founder) and Johnny Cupcakes often frequented the site. Emptees was a melting pot of creative knowledge. In fact, many of the awesome T-Shirt related relationships that I’ve formed over the last 3 years have been because of Emptees. I owe Emptees a lot. It was an almost perfect site.

I say almost perfect, because, like almost everything, Emptees had its imperfections. For every awesome artist that frequented the site, there were a handful of others that would upload pure crap. I know that art is subjective, but I’ve seen some real crap posted on the site. Things got a whole lot better with moderation, but still, some horrid uploads still found ways of sneaking in. Also, the forum, which was a great place for conversation had become one that was filled with so much negativity that I had stopped popping by. I used to visit Emptees at least once or twice a day, but then it had just become too much for me to handle. The bad had overweighed the good and I moved on. What had been a place for awesome tees to be showcased had turned into a site that pledged to fight off Indonesians and rip off artists. Member criticism was no longer constructive. Drama filled the air constantly. The fun seemed to be sapped right out of the site.

This was the official word from Indie Labs:

Part of the extremely difficult decision to close Emptees comes from a larger internal decision that we’ll be talking more about soon, which is to do away with our parent company, Indie Labs, and simply change the name of our business to Big Cartel. This allows us to focus exclusively on Big Cartel and Pulley, and accomplish some of the huge things we have planned with such a small team. Our customers (including many of you) deserve that kind of dedication.

You may be wondering why we don’t just sell Emptees. This is something we’ve looked into, but even if we found a buyer that offered a decent price (and wouldn’t just whore the site out), the amount of time and money it would take to transfer our entire infrastructure, and the legal red tape we’d need to go through, basically take that option off the table. We even looked at giving the site away for free, but that was plagued by these same issues.

Instead, we feel that closing Emptees opens up an opportunity for someone else to do it right. Someone that can stand on our shoulders, learn from our mistakes, and build a curated community from the ground up that they are an active part in. Perhaps Band Job? I know Rob is cooking up some ideas now too. :)

And so Emptees will shut its door on March 1. It is unsure as to whether Emptees will stay online as a static website (they are filled with a wealth of knowledge). However, there have been a few Emptees replacements that have seemingly popped up and will take over where Emptees left off. Mintees is one of those site, and will be run by former Emptees moderator, Rob Dobi. At the moment, you can sign up for an account at Mintees and even import your settings from Emptees.

Mintees is going to launch within the next few weeks and should be completely up before emptees shuts down. in the next few weeks i’ll be looking to the community for more ideas as to how to make the site better for everyone. a panel of trusted moderators will be chosen to guarantee the site doesn’t let any crap sift through.

for the time being we want all of your valuable content at emptees to remain active. there are far too many resources + tees that would never see the light of day once this place ceases to exist. head over to http://www.mintees.com and activate your account, upon launch your existing content will be migrated over.

Rob Dobi has also put together a funny Best of the Worst Emptees videos. Take a look below:

Peace out, Emptees.

Playing The Monotreme Blues

My goodness it’s been way too long since I’ve posted a Tilteed tee design. Well, I jut couldn’t pass up on talking about this sexy beast from veteran Tilteed designer theJCW. It’s called Playing The Monotreme Blues and it features a jazzed up platypus singing his heart out. Now, I searched YouTube high and low to see if I could find a real life, jazz singing platypus. The closest thing that I could find was a platypus singing the P-P-Platypus song. Warning: the P-P-Platypus song is both addicting and annoying, so proceed with caution!

Playing The Monotreme Blues is available now for the next three days from Tilteed for $12, and you can score an even better discount ($2 off) if you use the code TILTCOTY at checkout!

Global Flood Relief: Rider Through The Storm

Our friends over at Threadless recently released another charity themed tee, this time focusing on the recent major flooding in Australia, Brazil and Sri Lanka. The T-Shirt costs $12 but $9 goes directly to global flood relief. Rider Through The Storm is an awesome tee that was designed for a great cause, so be sure to go and pick one up.

The tragic flooding in Australia, Brazil, and Sri Lanka left us at a loss for words. Thankfully our Creative Director, Ross Zietz (arzie13), and designer Blair Sayer (Mr Rocks) realized that sometimes art can speak louder than words.

They contacted Brazilian designer Matheus Lopes Castro (mathiole) and Australian designer Simon Massey Di Vallazza (francobolli) and began collaborating on a flood relief shirt design.

The resulting design, Riders Through The Storm, is now available for purchase. $9 from the sale of each shirt will go toward flood relief.

On working across continents, Ross says he “was worried working on a collab with people in 3 very different time zones might have been a challenge but not with these guys. It was an easy organic process that came together nicely. Big props to each of the guys, and Matheus especially for his amazing linework and melding of everyone’s styles.

Simon Massey Di Vallazza lives in Brisbane, an area hit especially hard by the Australian flooding. After seeing the damage firsthand, he’s “so grateful to be involved in this great initiative with such talented designers that will not only help Australian flood victims but also those in Brazil and Sri Lanka’s devastated regions. A huge thank you to Threadless for making this happen.”

Rider Through The Storm is available at Threadless for $12, with $9 of each sale going towards global flood relief.

Zombie Need Love Too

Ah, good ol’ Valentine’s Day. I’m not at all religious, but, a few of my Facebook acquaintances are. One of them posted this interesting story: “One story of St. Valentine was that he was a priest or bishop who was arrested during the reign of Claudius II for marrying people, the sacrament of marriage. Claudius liked him until Valentine tried to convert the Emperor and in turn the priest was beheaded. Perhaps the true message have been diluted throughout the centuries? From sacrifice and martyrdom to chocolate and indulgence.”

Interesting, no? We went from a beheading to chocolates and roses. How romantic. Of course, there’s nothing more romantic than zombies, and our friends at Goodie Two Sleeves know that! They recently released a slew of zombified T-Shirts for the hopeless romantic. My favorite is definitely the Zombies Love Nerds design, I just wish there was a little splatter of blood.

Zombies Love Nerds is available now from Goodie Two Sleeves for $21.95.

And if you’re in the mood for a couple more tees to celebrate this heart attack of a holiday, check out this great curated list of Valentine’s Day themed tees from our friend, Macho Slut, over at Found Item Clothing.

PERF Laser Cut T-Shirt Designs

In the not so distant future, we will all use T-Shirts featuring laser cut designs. Screen printed apparel will be a thing of the past. Feasible? Probably not. Possible? Absolutely. In fact, a new brand called PERF Last Cut Apparel is doing exact that right now in 2011. You don’t even need to wait for the no so distant future.

“PERF creates unique laser cut patterned t-shirts for men and women. Eager to bring a distinctive texture and pattern to the clothes I wear, I created PERF after discovering the potential of using laser cutting technology to transform the everyday t-shirt into something extraordinary by cutting out unique patterns in them! I prefer to wear them with a colored t-shirt underneath, but I’ll leave that up to you. Or if you’d like, you can purchase an underlayer shirt of your specified color, separately. Each T-shirt is laser cut individually after you order it based on your preference for pattern, color and size. Please be patient as it may take up to 2 weeks to complete your order.”

PERF Laser Cut T-Shirts are available now from the PERF online shop from $34 to $45.