Abe Lincoln and the Intergalactic Civil War

In an alternate universe, Abraham Lincoln would not have been assassinated by John Wilkes Booth while watching Our American Cousin on April 14, 1865 at Ford’s Theater. Then again, if we lived in an alternate universe then maybe Abraham Lincoln could have shot back at Booth with laserbeams coming out of his eye balls while a bear-ish Teddy Roosevelt stomped repeatedly on Booth, making sure that his fur got into the deep crevices of his body.

Lincoln is available now from Jon Wye for $29.

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