The Best Charlie Sheen Drama Quotes and Rants + Sheen T-Shirts

Debauchery, cocaine, and a filthy mouth. And so goes the life of Two and a Half Men star/self proclaimed rock star, Charlie Sheen. Sheen, whose show was recently put on hold and then indefinitely dropped from production, has been going on a tirade the past few days. It’s been quite interesting, actually, to peek into the sordid life that he live. Here of some of my favoriet Sheen quotes/videos/rants from the last couple of days:

From his Today Show interview:

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On his chest tattoo:

“It’s the banner from the death card that Kilgore [the Robert Duvall character] is throwing on his victims. But also falling from it is the apple from [poet Shel Silverstein’s] ‘The Giving Tree.’ There’s my life. Deal with it. I’m not just my dad. I’m putting up the river to kill another part of me, which is Kurtz. I’m every character in between, save for that little weirdo with his guts strapped in, begging for water. That’s not me. But there are parts of me that are Dennis Hopper. ‘You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me.’ Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life.”

On his publicist quiting on him:

“Pussy. He’s not allowed to quit, so you’re fired.”

On his dad telling him to seek help:

“My conduct is bitchin’, my condition is perfect.”

On being banned from the Warner Bros. lot:

“Wow, that’s kind of strange given [Warner Bros. Television President] Peter Roth always said it was my show that kept the lights on. Doesn’t matter too much because after Wednesday they’ll have to rename Warner Bros. as Charlie’s Bros. I will fire those clowns and bring in my own team.”

On being on a drug called Charlie Sheen:

On Two and a Half Men creator, Chuck Lorre:

“Defeat is not an option. They know what they did was wrong they are in absolute breach [of contract] I did nothing wrong. I expressed an opinion, I have the first amendment and I have an army marching behind me, to quote Eminem. I put a billion dollars in the studio’s pockets and I put half a billion dollars in Chuck’s pocket. I should of been walking in to massages and hand jobs. Yeah, I said it! [The show’s producers] kept getting up into my grill, kept tell me how to live my personal life.. I’m saying ‘back off back off’ and they wouldn’t. I’m the type of guy who doesn’t hassle anybody…I think everybody’s got a black belt and a gun..so..I don’t get in anybody’s business. I kept asking for that respect and I couldn’t get it, I couldn’t get it. These guys are a couple of AA Nazis and just blatant hypocrites. They just do not practice what they preach it’s so transparent and so sad.”

On being a racist:

“I was referring to Chuck by his real name, because I wanted to address the man, not the bulls**t TV persona…So you’re telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino.”

On being clean:

“If they do discover my blood to be tiger blood, I hope that nobody will be shocked!”

A letter from Charlie Sheen:

“What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.

Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…”

On Two and a Half Men being shut down:

“Newsflash, I’m special.”

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning. My success rate is 100%. I was shackled and oppressed by the cult of AA for 22 years. I finally extracted myself from their troll hole and started living my life the way I want to live it. It’s vintage, outdated and stupid and it’s followed by STUPID people. I hate them violently. They will come at me. Debate me on AA right now. I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it right now with my mind.”

“I was told if I went on the attack they’d cancel the show. Are they happy with the 5 billion dollars they made off me or do they want 10? I’m not fair game. I’m not a soft target. There’s a new sheriff, and he has an army of assassins.”

“My motto now is either you love or you hate and you must do so violently. I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get embarrassed. If you love with violence and you hate with violence there is nothing that can be questioned.”

“I’m going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view. I don’t subscribe to any model.”

And of course, it would be remiss if I failed to mention a Charlie Sheen T-Shirt, so check out these fresh new pop-ish themed Sheen tees from La Boutique Genevan. Both shirts are available now for €22.

And then you’ve got these from Donkey T’s, a little more appropriate for the times, hah! Both shirts are available now for $16.