TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 7

Every day I come up with a new witty Threadless TypeTees Slogan in hopes of earning a place amongst the Threadless wordplay elite. At the end of every week I post a round up of that weeks slogans here on my blog. What can you do to help the cause? Vote! Just click on a slogan (preferably all of them) and then vote by click “I’d Wear It!” – it’s that simple! If you want to see and vote for all of my slogans then just click here or on that photo of me with the Rockband guitar. Vote for me and I will bake you an amazing tray of double chocolate chip cookies if ever we meet in real life.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment

Week 7 (February 12, 2010 to February 18, 2010):

If bridges were indestructible, would you still burn them?

Listen to me, youngsters, it’s never a good thing to burn bridges. Never.

I know just enough to be confused.

This was a slogan suggestion from a friend of mine. He seems to be having a “difficult” time with science these days. And so this slogans fits his situation perfectly! But I can definitely relate, hah!

Hallucinations are ok if you’ve got an imaginary friend nearby.

If you’re gonna suffer from hallucinations then why not suffer with a friend nearby – even if it’s an imaginary friend. Who cares at this point!

If baseball is America’s pastime then what’s wiffleball?

Who here plays wiffleball? I never have. Does that make me less of a man?

Science is magical.

Oh good God science is magical. Wow, science, magic and God all in once sentence. Amazing. Hmmm, maybe that should’ve been the slogan instead!

The truth should never be harder than hunting for unicorn.

Because, well, we should always tell the truth ;)

Teleporters will one day deem email obsolete.

At least those Trekkies hope so!

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 5

Every day I come up with a new witty Threadless TypeTees Slogan in hopes of earning a Threadless Alumni Club Medal of Honor. At the end of every week I post a round up of that weeks slogans here on my blog. What can you do to help the cause? Vote! Just click on a slogan (preferably all of them) and then vote by click “I’d Wear It!” – it’s that simple! If you want to see and vote for all of my slogans then just click here or on that photo of me with the Rockband guitar. Vote for me and I will bake you your own burrito if ever we meet in real life.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment

Week 5 (January 29, 2010 to February 4, 2010):

The only chemistry I know is synthesized by Cupid’s arrow.

I was listening to someone talk about biochemistry and this slogan popped up in my head! Would make a good Valentines Day TypeTee, Threadless staff **Wink, Wink**!

CAPS LOCK: for moments when an exclamation point is not enough!

Especially for those who like to write things like FTW! or WIN! – you know these people and you might even be one. Slogans FTW!

65 is the original 140.

OK, you need to be both a web geek and a Threadless geek to get this one. Before Twitter made 140 characters an iconic cultural limitation, OMG Clothing (later to become TypeTees) made 65 characters the max you had to get your thought across. In my opinion, 65 is so much harder to do than 140.

Geeks don’t skip. They tab.

Skipping? Pfffftttt. Real geeks tab.

Moderation is key. Now can I have more advice?

People inherently want more, and more, and more. But the key, no matter what, is always moderation. Want more advice? Knew you would.

Being green is as easy as finding a yellow and blue marker.

Step 1. Find yellow and green marker. Step 2. Color yourself with said markers until your entirely green. And there you go – BAM – GREEN! Now go worry about your carbon footprint.

Optical zoom should be a default feature of the human eye.

Really, it should! If cameras can do it then why not the eyeball! Imagine if you could zoom in and out using your MIND. That would be insane. I want that!

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 4

Every day I come up with a new witty Threadless TypeTees Slogan in hopes of earning a Threadless Alumni Club Medal of Honor. At the end of every week I post a round up of that weeks slogans here on my blog. What can you do to help the cause? Vote! Just click on a slogan (preferably all of them) and then vote by click “I’d Wear It!” – it’s that simple! If you want to see and vote for all of my slogans then just click here or on that photo of me with the Rockband guitar. Vote for me and I will bake you your own strawberry shortcake if ever we meet in real life.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment

Week 4 (January 22, 2010 to January 28, 2010):

If MacGyver was in a pickle, he’d probably eat his way out.

Forget duct tape. His teeth would be his greatest asset if ever trapped in a pickle.

Pilates keep pirates busy when they aren’t pillaging.

Nice use of P’s don’t you think? I don’t do pilates but then again, I’m not a bonafide pirate. I wish I was a pirate, though.

I’m sure grass grew fine before humans existed. Save water.

Every morning on my way to work I encounter a man. A man that loves to water his grass. He loves to water his grass a bit too much. He waters his grass a lot. In the morning and in the afternoon. This man should save water.

Strawberry fields forever means one thing: infinite shortcake!

Another Beatles infused theme. I love the Beatles and was listening to this hit when I came up with this slogan. Strawberry shortcake – who’s a fan? I am!

Lycanthropes: always ready for a good costume party.

Ahh, the werewolf. Growing up one of my favorite movies was Teen Wolf with Michael J. Fox. I recently bought the Teen Wolf & Teen Wolf Too DVD ($12 at Amazon) and although the movie wasn’t as “great” as I had remembered it as a 6 year old, I still had a blast laughing at the 80’s.

Evil people cut grass and actually enjoy it.

I’m sure that our favorite serial killer, Dexter (The Complete Third Season, $24 at Amazon), experiences some sort of weird gratification when cutting grass. It’s just a hunch.

Imagine if keyboards actually hit back.

If keyboards actually fought back then things could get nasty, especially since they have over 100 keys on the standard keyboard.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 2

Every day I come up with a new witty Threadless TypeTees Slogan in hopes of earning a Threadless Alumni Club Medal of Honor. At the end of every week I post a round up of that weeks slogans here on my blog. What can you do to help the cause? Vote! Just click on a slogan (preferably all of them) and then vote by click “I’d Wear It!” – it’s that simple! If you want to see and vote for all of my slogans then just click here or on that photo of me with the Rockband guitar. Vote for me and I will make you an awesome grilled cheese sandwich if ever we meet in real life.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment

Week 2 (January 8 2010 to January 14 2010):

Permanent markers: A drunk man’s worst enemy.

Flipping through Facebook I noticed an album of a drunk friend who had unfortunately passed out while his friends were in the possession of permanent markers. Such a shame!

Multi-touch reinvented the way I twiddle my thumbs.

Here’s a slogan for all of you iPhone using people. Now your twiddling thumbs have a purpose – swipe, pinch, zoom like never before!

Even Bigfoot knows that the Abominable Snowman doesn’t exist.

It’s only logical that the Abominable Snowman doesn’t exist, especially if Bigfoot says so. [NOTE: If you voted on this slogan on the past please vote again using this link, the older version had a typo :( a big boo boo for any TypeTees submission.]

I’d sing my heart out but I think that would be kinda painful.

So, American Idol just started and I thought, gee, if I was on American Idol I was definitely give it my all. But to sing my heart out? Come on, that’s a little too much of me to give!

All of my wisdom is tucked away in the corners of my mouth.

So I came up with this logo as I was blogging a little bit. It just popped in my head. I liked it and so it’s todays slogan! This slogan makes me sad because I had my wisdom teeth pulled out, all 4 of em, when I was 16!

There’s no I in TEAM but T, E, A, and M are pretty darn good.

I’m not sure how I came up with this slogan, but I think, I think, that it came to me today when I heard someone on the radio say the famous line, There’s No I In Team. Although there’s no I, I think that the other letters in TEAM are not too shabby. I myself am a fan of T and A. :)

Actually, microphones aren’t small and can’t even make any calls.

Don’t you think the word microphone is a misnomer? I think so. First of all, they aren’t even micro at the very least nor do they allow you to dial out! I want a refund.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 10 and 11

Hello all! Coty Loves Threadless will be delayed a day – it’ll be up tomorrow morning for sure so check back for that if you came here expecting to watch a new episode! The good news is the return of my TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment! Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about this little project of mine! I’ve included Vegas week and last week in this one post. And just so you know, it’s Week 11 and I still have not gotten a print! It’s ok, I still love you, Threadless! To see all of my slogans and to vote for them check out my Threadless profile page. Vote for me and I will make you an awesome avocado burger if ever we meet in real life.

cotystypetees

Week 11:

Instead of shouting I prefer to write in CAPS.

Except of course when I am driving. When I drive I yell a lot! Passengers wonder why I yell, especially since the driver that I am yelling at can’t hear me.

You provide the cheese and I’ll provide the grill.

With all of my grilled cheese references you guys should know by now how much I love this American delicacy!

Toilet paper inspires me to be clean.

Doesn’t it inspire you?

I never know when to use apostrophy’s.

I actually do, but I thought this would be a witty entry.

When will mechanical pencils write for themselves?

I love using mechanical pencils! Because no matter what, the tip always stays sharp. No sharpening required. Unless of course you run out of lead. Then you need a back up plan!

The key to life is locked in a safe.

What is the key to life for you? I’m interested to know.

Psssst, wanna know a secret?

I wonder how many people would actually want to know “a secret” if I wore this shirt in public.

[Read more…]

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 8

This might be a day late but I haven’t forgotten about my TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment! Seven more action packed slogans await for your vote, so get on it! Show me some Threadless love! To see all of my slogans and to vote for them check out my Threadless profile page. Vote for me and I will make you an awesome avocado burger if ever we meet in real life.

cotystypetees

Prevent wedgies and go commando.

This is actually the best defense to getting wedgies, and the cheapest! I don’t think that I’ve been the victim of wedgies (it helps being the oldest child amongst siblings and cousins) but I do remember dishing them out!

Organic is the new black.

Indeed everyone and their grandma has decided that going green is the best way to go. And of course it is. It’s even become a fashion statement for some and hence, organic “stuff” is the new black. 

Grapes don’t deserve to be stepped on.

I was trying to decide what beverage to get for lunch on this particular day (I decided on H20) and stumbled upon a bottle of Welch’s grape juice. I instantly thought of @garyvee and then wine. I’m not sure why I thought of @garyvee (I’m excited about his new book, BTW) but as I was thinking about him and I thought about how grapes don’t deserve to be smashed. What have they ever done to us!

Recycle your newspaper and make origami.

Oh, this seriously sounds like fun! Who wants to try?

Milk: It prevents decalcification.

Milk: It does a body good …. and it prevents decalcification! This is true, friends. 

I like to picnic with teddy bears.

Weird, I know. This slogan originated from an ODD status message that I saw on Facebook (not mine). Made it fit the 140 word limit and BAM, slogan. 

There’s no excuse for having no excuse.

There’s isn’t really an excuse for having no excuse. Even better, try not needing an excuse in the first place that way to won’t have to worry about having an excuse for an excuse. I just confused myself there.

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 7

And my TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment saga continues! I’ve got 7 new slogans for you all to vote on, so get on it! Show me some Threadless love! To see all of my slogans and to vote for them check out my Threadless profile page. Vote for me and I will make you an awesome avocado burger if ever we meet in real life.

cotystypetees

My natural glow has been known to make some people blush.

Yes, people have told me that I have a natural glow. But since this is the Internet, you’ll have to take my word.  

My lack of creativity is due to an unmotivated right brain.

Whenever I’m having a day thats lacking creativity I just blame the right hemisphere of my brain. The purveyor of all thing awesome. Stay active, stay strong!

I specialize in the psychology of awesomeness.

The next two “psychology” themed slogans are a result of me working on a two papers on the subject. Universities should seriously offer a course in the Psychology of Awesomeness. What makes awesome people, awesome? Are there brain regions associated with extreme awesomeness? And, of course, what are the fundamental behavioral characteristics of awesomeness? 

Be forewarned: I suffer from selective attention.

I seriously do. If it’s something that I wish to just have fly through one ear and out the other then that’s exactly what will happen. Selective attention, it’s not a choice, it’s an innate characteristic that I possess. 

I believe in Bigfoot, Nessie and world peace.

This is one of the statement slogans. I wish Bigfoot existed so that I could give him a cookie. I wish Nessie existed so that I could snap a pic of her/him and I wish that world peace existed so that we could all live happy and be happy. But of course, we know that Bigfoot doesn’t exist, Nessie was a hoax and world peace, well, until we get rid of religion (among other things) we can forget about that. 

The dog didn’t eat my homework. I just didn’t do it.

It seems that every week I have at least one slogan that highlights my laziness. In truth, I’m not a lazy person – I just wish I could lounge around all day. By the way, I firmly believe in doing homework – it builds character!

Double dipping is negligible contamination.

Double dipping has never really been a big problem for me (unless you have a noticeable cold sore). I’m not sure why people get into such hizzy about it. It’s not a big deal! Or is it?

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 5

Fridays, Fridays, Fridays, such a great day for slogans – lot’s and lot’s of slogans! This TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment that I have endeavored on has been such good good brain exercise. Help keep me motivated and vote for my slogans on Threadless so that I can get a shield that I can call my own! To see all of my slogans and to vote for them check out my Threadless profile page. Vote for me and I will make you amazing buffalo wings if ever we meet in real life.

cotystypetees

I grind rails not coffee.

Oh yes, back in the day, back in my younger days. Now I do neither. Loose leaf tea FTW!

If life’s a beach then I’ve got a sun burn.

I had a great day at the beach, alone, and it was wonderful. Soaked up the sun and enjoyed the Pacific Ocean. Where is your favorite beach? 

Driving a stick shift is like watching TV without a remote, hard.

I’ve tried on numerous occasions to learn stick shift, but I’ve never practiced for a long enough period of time for me to get it. And the question that I post to those that boast driving stick is better is … why? Seriously, would you watch a TV without a remote and get up and go to the TV each time you wanted to change the channel? Probably not. Similarly, why do you want to work for every shift when there are cars that do it automatically? I just don’t get it I guess.

Save the bees: they help keep the world sweet.

Did you know that the worlds bee population is seriously and mysteriously decreasing. This is something that we need to be concerned about because it could potentially mean the end of mankind. No joke. And plus, they help keep the world sweet. A world without sweetness would quite simply be lame. 

As I look at you all I see are a bunch of falling green letters.

This is me trying to be Neo. Imagine for a second how awesome it would be to be The One. If you didn’t get any of those two references then you need to put The Matrix on your Netflix queue right now. 

Babies make the world a better place. Except when they poop.

In all seriousness, babies really do make the world a better place. I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy (yes, I watch Grey’s Anatomy) and it was a sad episode that involved the death of young child. Such a downer. Coming up with this slogan made me smile again. 

Laughter makes me do the happy dance.

Comedy is such a great thing. About two weeks ago I started watching Arrested Development on DVD and absolutely love it! Such a great show. Terrible shame that it was canceled – damn you FOX!

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 4

Tada, Friday is slogan day and I’ve got another weeks worth of TypeTees slogan entries for you guys to vote for! Help me out in my epic TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment! I can taste that Threadless shield so vote so I can get printed! To see all of my slogans and to vote for them check out my Threadless profile page. Vote for me and I will make you waffles if ever we meet in real life.

cotystypetees

Fact: I am faster than 100 percent of all snails.

Hmmm, this is a variation of a quote from The Office that I actually saw on a friends Facebook page. I changed the snakes to snails and 80% to 100% and called it a day. 

If all men became priests then humanity would go extinct.

This one came from roommates brother who said something similar (but not as good, lol).

Sketchbooks are to humans as corn fields are to aliens.

This is so true, right! Humans draw in sketchbooks and aliens take it a step further and fly to another planet and sketch on corn fields. On a separate note – I’d love to meet a bona fide alien, if you know one then hook me up.

I’m only lazy when I am awake.

I certainly felt like it on this particular day, probably because I was preparing a presentation on cognition and brain damage and I was pretty tired. In the end, the Keynote came out to over 100 slides (my slides consists mainly of images and slides with only a few words) and the presentation was super!

Sometimes I just sit alone, scratch my head and wonder why.

Yeah, this is me being emo. Probably because of the reasons I explained above.

An eye for an eye will only result in partial blindness.

Oh Mr. Gandhi was such a great dude – but he got this one wrong. An eye for an eye will only result in two guys with partial blindness. Stay away from the eyes! And be good people!

I only fall down for the push ups.

I tested this one out with a friend and he didn’t get it. His loss!

TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment Week 2

Week two of my epic TypeTees Slogan-A-Day Experiment has wrapped up and I haven’t flinched yet. I’m getting the hang of submitting daily and have even gotten into the routine of jotting down potential slogans into my iPhone whenever they come to me. And they come to me at the oddest moments. It’s a good thing iPhone follows me wherever I go! To see all of my slogans and to vote for them check out my Threadless profile page. Vote for me and I will make you a grilled cheese sandwich if ever we meet in real life. 

cotystypetees

This is my Handkerchief whenever no one is looking.

This is true! Especially when I am sick and only when I am desperate and without a box of tissues. 

I am a vegan trickster. Want to taste some tofu bacon?

I was watching the latest episode of Diggnation and Gary Vaynerchuk was a guest on the show. He was giving Hippie Glenn (Glenn McElhose) a hard time and at one point Kevin claimed that Glenn (who is a vegan) ate some bacon at his home. Gary then called him a vegan tricker. 

No sledding in the cemetery. It’ll wake the dead.

Hmmm, I believe I saw a photo on Flickr (I should have saved it for reference) that said No Sledding in the Cemetery. Apparently, it was a real sign posted at a real cemetery. The last pat of the slogan was my addition – I think it works!

My inbox is bigger than your inbox. And that’s not a good thing.

My email inbox has been getting swamped for some reason lately. And that is definitely not a good thing. It does, though, mean that people want to talk to me and so in that respect I guess it’s a good thing!

A lifetime of bacon trumps the slim chance of eternity in heaven.

Threadless chief operating officer Jeffrey Kalmikoff made the following tweet: “@skaw For me, a lifetime filled with bacon trumps the slim to none chance of eternity in heaven. Besides, no bacon in heaven? No thanks.” I thought it was brilliant. I had to trim it to fit the slogan limit but I got it to work. Thanks Jeffrey!

cut and paste. Where would I be without

Cut and paste has got to be one of the greatest computing inventions. EVER! You’d be surprised to find out how many times a day you use cut and paste. I know I use it a lot! Show cut and paste some love and vote for this one.

Pinch me once, shame on you. Pinch me twice and I pinch back.

This slogan was inspired by an episode of Judge Judy. I believe somebody was blaming somebody of pinching their kid. Really people, pinching? Learn to pinch back!